Everybody has their routine. I guess this is the fact that close to debate. But if we make overthinking we can say in essence their both habit. Some of them are busy some of them are leisurely. Their minus and are different because they are different! Obvious. But can we judge people on their habits?
I thought about this while I was walking to my psychiatric center. Don’t understand wrong I am a doctor. But additionally, I am a patient of this psychiatric center too. You might be asking why? Because I learn something from this center all the time. I choose not to be friends with my patient. Extreme emotional relationships might affect my work. I don’t mention that I was acting like a wall to my patient. No! Being a doctor of them is not mean that I should act like a wall. I’m just balancing our relationship for me and them. As you can guess sometimes a bit different patients came for treatment. What I mean by different is people who have lost mind control. I always get angry if someone calls my patient “mad”. No, they’re not mad. As I say the threads of mind are no longer in their hands. My attitude is the same for all my patients on the first step. Additionally, they are the ones who give shape my behavior. Don’t understand wrong I don’t mention anything bad. You can compare it with your life is your attitude the same for everyone? Approximately the same. Of course, if we exclude bias and vested interest.
I won’t name any of my days “classic”. Because sometimes the day can come to me classic but not to the world. I take a look at the sky. It is not the same. I talk with my flowers they are answers will be different. So how can I name this day as normal? So that day I decided to walk on the Street. It’s rainy outside can’t see anything. I hope I have my phone with me, so I slipped my hand into my pocket and was startled when a piece of paper touched my hand I found a piece of paper in my pocket that said ‘Call me now!’ On the crumpled paper, there was also a number whose last digit had been wiped out. I try one or two times then I found a wiped-out digit its nine. I call the number. Phone ringing, ringing then someone opens. “Lullaby, it’s you right can you hear me?” Oh my god what did he call me I hang up the phone and…
One week passed. Oh, I can’t focus on my job because of overthinking Ryan. Why did he call me? It was hard to talk when I heard his voice after three years. So I don’t blame myself. He called a thousand times but I just ignore him because I am not sure I can talk. I have a new patient coming today it’s so busy that I forget to look over his name. It’s not a bi,g deal I can learn when he came to my room. Knock, knock! I recovered immediately. “Come please.” He seems a bit stranger, his clothes reminiscent of Sherlock Holmes, his perfume from the first step into the room, and his golden blonde hair. “Lullaby?” What? “Ryan is that you but how?”.”Hope you listened to me at least one-time Lullaby you never ask why I am going. What happens to me? I understand it is wrong to go without saying a word. But you only study and work the whole they you don’t have even 1 minute for me.” He looks angry. It’s hard to talk. “Are you serious Ryan I was preparing for my medical exam and like you say I’m am working I wish you don’t act like a stubborn and selfish and try to help me, support me, Ryan it’s over okay? If you came here for psychological help I will refer you to someone else. Otherwise, leave my room!” now I am getting angry. “So you are right as always ha? We can be married to each other in past but you destroyed everything.” Seriously? “I destroyed what Ryan? I was at home all the time, doing your laundry stuff, born your child look after them, making food, cleaning the home, welcoming your relatives so act like your servant? I am sorry but I am not a this person find someone else and don’t come across me again!” I leave the room immediately. Get into my car and just drive. What? He wants me to give up my career, my habits, my everything for him. This is who I am and I don’t give up on my selves for any man. He judges me for my routine and this is completely disgusting. This is the and I am gonna forget everything about Ryan and focus on myself. I can’t give up myself and my dreams for anyone, even if it’s about love.