Life is not like a road. If I were to make any conclusion from what I’ve learned so far, this rocky and uncertain path that life puts you on is not definitive or linear in any way. In fact, it seems almost like you are supposed to reside in the area surrounding the road; the vacant and impassive space between each line; the unexpressive prairie. It is where I travel and where I have made most of my memories. I have learned to navigate my way through these horizontal, endless planes; cutting through wild weeds and tall, sand-coloured grass. I learned to step over the shards of glass and avoid the hissing vipers slithering behind blooming flowers. Often times I will look around or turn my head left and right while strolling through the emptiness and stop in my tracks after finding myself staring into a bizarre, crimson glow. There are three colours and yet only the red one manages to capture my attention completely. It is like a vacuum pulling me closer and closer. The colour catches me off guard and I struggle to pull my eyes away. Sometimes I will stand there, simply waiting and trying to understand why I have stopped; why this red light has rendered my body immobile. When the light turns into a soft tangerine and then a luminous apple green, I feel as though I can move again; I am not frozen in place. It is these moments that make me take a step back from whatever I am doing and question my motives. Why am I walking? How did I know to walk? What would happen if I stopped?
Where am I even going?
These questions forcefully etch themselves into the back of my mind like tattoos. Fading lightly over time but always there. I am thankful for their presence, though. It reminds me of who I chose to walk for; where I want to go, not only for others but also just for myself. While the crimson beacon of light from the imposing pole glares holes at the side of my face as I walk away, the questions circulating around my head glare daggers at me for never acknowledging them. But as these momentary stops grow more frequent, I find myself thinking more and more. I will answer them one day, but until that day, I will keep walking towards whatever awaits beyond the horizon.