I am directly looking to the unknown of everything coming next. The vast and obscure future beyond me looks horrifying. At the same time, it seems very natural. However, it is arrogant and uneasy with its steely gaze upon me. I feel as if I am crushing under, the pressure is excruciating for me. The burden of knowing the future irritates me and makes me feel uncomfortable.
The uncertainty of the future usually frightens many because having no control over life is not pleasant. Not being able to catch up with life and losing the strings is terrifying. I believe what lies ahead is just like that. I cannot understand it, nor can I have the domination to change the forthcoming. It is out of my reach. I cannot comprehend what it is showing to me. I can only observe and judge.
To be frank, I would not want to have the power of changing it myself. That would bring many obligations, which I am hesitant about. Because then, I would not have anyone to accuse if I were to make any mistake. I would not have any other person with whom I can lay the blame for what has happened. Basic human behavior…
This frame I am looking from sadly limits what I can observe although it seems as if I can see everything. It is like a fixed viewpoint that is stuck there eternally. It is very deceptive and stubborn to not give me what I want. However, I do not wish to look anymore. It seems to me that it is pointless to know what I will go through in my life. I believe everyone should be unaware of their future. Sometimes ignorance may be even better than being wise in our lives. Because otherwise, there will not be any point in living “happily”. Every little thing would look redundant. Life with no meaning will only bring despair and sorrow with it.
The unknown now swallows me up like a swamp. The effort is pointless, and the silence is extremely loud. I cannot take my eyes off of it, it hypnotizes me with its charm. I know everything will be even worse by keep looking, but it is no longer in my control. It is too late to do something, I already know too much. Believing no one would ever want to experience this, I hereby take the responsibility and the duty to carry this heavy burden. Perhaps thinking of others will at least give me a reason to go on with my life.