I can’t say I’ve got such wild plans for this summer because all I want to do is spend a few calm months before school gets a lot busier. I just want to live in the moment, not stressing out about deadlines and big responsibilities even if it doesn’t last too long.
I most probably will stay in Ankara, visit some relatives, convinced by their pressure. My cousin and I will practically move to our grandmother’s house for a month, sweet with the way we have missed each other at first but later on finding the simplest reasons to be at each other’s throats (obviously in a loving way). I know I can count on her with the way she always cheats while playing old maid and knowingly unplugs my phone from the charger every time. But I have to admit, I find all of it quite endearing. I hope that this is the most hectic part of my holiday. I hope I can stay up all night reading all of the books that have been sitting on my shelf, staring at me with a hopeful look in their eyes begging for me to pick them up. Or maybe I will fill the pages of my sketchbook to the brim, occasionally losing my eraser or a pencil in the bedsheets and hastily searching for it. I most definitely will leave my windows wide open, inviting the heavy yet clean summer air in. It will be colder but definitely not cold enough so I will fan myself with my hand from time to time. On nights that I’m not occupied with any of this I will go to my neighbor’s house because she’s going to college when this summer ends. I want to sit in the garden with her, doing absolutely nothing but chatting and soaking in the familiarity of the friendship we’ve built over the last 12 years. As usual, I will make sure to scrunch my nose jokingly as tears slide down her cheeks from laughing at the joke she just made. I will giggle along knowing I will miss her dumb jokes no matter how unfunny they are.
This year I want my summer to be dull, so dull that it’s reminiscent of all the most boring parts of my holidays this far. I want my last summer before I turn 18 to be one that is filled with familiarity and comfort. I hope this summer feels like finally releasing a sigh I didn’t realize I was holding in.