I wish I could do magic.
Maybe only then I’d be able to help my sister.
My sister… She was born with a weak body, because of that she was hospitalized through middle school. Missing most of her childhood. Though I was always next to her through it all, trying to keep a happy face just to see her smile occasionally even if she’s been lying on her hospital bed for days, desperately waiting for her days in the hospital to end.
She only got better around high school and was finally able to reunite with her friends after all that suffering she went through. It finally made me relieved; she was happy, well and healthy, most of the time at least. Even she started believing that she would never have to suffer like she did in the past. Occasionally her condition would worsen but that would only happen whenever she exerts herself way too much and after that, she’d get better, it’d never happen out of nowhere and never this bad for a long time.
But this… This happened out of nowhere. During theatre rehearsals I got a call from one of her friends, telling me about the situation. The last time I ran that fast was probably when I learned about my favorite musical’s arrival to our town and nearly being out of tickets. Although I ran with anxiety that day, it wasn’t a bad type of anxiousness; today though, it was bad, really bad and I needed to see her as soon as possible. I needed to make sure she was fine by seeing it with my own eyes.
Now, next to her, waiting for her to wake up.
She has been here for 2 or 3 days. I’ll be honest, I’m afraid. I’m afraid she’ll have to suffer like that again. I’m telling myself “I’m just overthinking, of course it won’t be like old times.” But my chest, it’s full of uneasiness. It’s like a distress signal is going off in my heart. I wish I could do something for her, but I can’t. It’s always like this, something bad happens and I can’t do anything to help anyone… If only I was stronger. If only I had the power, the ability to do something to help her.
I think, as I drift into sleep in the uncomfortable chair that is next to her hospital bed.