Every so often, I catch myself feeling nostalgic for things I didn’t even think to value that happened or I had at the time. This feeling almost always hits when the summer is right by the corner. When I’m finally ready to drop the seasonal depression, try and look after myself a little more and see everything around me in a new and much more positive fashion. Though this year, my annual ‘’coming out of the cave’’ phase was destined to be different than others.
The whole lock-up caused a lot of things to change, my summer prep was no exception to this. In 2020 I still had near-future plans with friends or family, altogether, without any stress. But something took away that feeling. I know someday those will be possible again but until then my consciousness won’t let me expect the possible scenarios that are ‘’most likely to happen’’ since my mind was almost always cornered by the unexpected ones actually happening. So this mammal brain of mine is trying to adapt as it’s in its most flexible growth phase. So now my best wish for the near future is just good health and time to recover from this way of isolated thinking. With the pandemic everything started to happen both so excruciatingly slow and somehow all at once, I do practically nothing but end up so tired at night that I almost pass out when it’s time to finally sleep.
The coming of the summer is the best thing to happen to my mental health every year. Because it means the sun will shine, I won’t feel cold no more, I will finally have time to figure out what it is I need or want to do. Though I still believe summer can put an end to this marathon, I can’t seem to shake the idea that it will last for a small amount of time. I, and most other people, need a rest. Not one which you could take an off day and watch movies. A rest in which we can finally stop worrying about the things we never get to control and a rest that would free us from the responsibility that has been put over our shoulders by the grand scheme of things. I know this phase will pass as fast as it came into our lives but as of right now it feels eternal.
The longer I keep feeling this way the more I lose my time, focus, motivation or anything that matte
rs to the ‘’present time’’ only. I decided that this year will be the year that I will strive to fight the hopeless Covid-19 victim persona that I had to develop and add more meaning to everything I need to do to get through daily life. I’d like you to hop on a similar journey, let’s make this one a growth summer together.