Day one
Today was my first day here. They checked me into the system.
Day two
I had trouble sleeping again, which is surprising considering the medication they gave. Doctors say it will take time for me to really accept the situation. This is too much…
Day three
I have been feeling a little bit better since yesterday. They are keeping me in a separate room to avoid any risks from outside. I have not talked to anyone other than the people working here. Not that I seek a companion yet it would be great to have someone to prove my existence somehow. I am angry for a lot of reasons I do not know. It is a strange feeling to describe. Anywho, I should go back to sleep.
Day four
This illness is really sneaky and resentful. I do not have any appetite. I cannot enjoy anything. Lisa sent me a flower and some chocolate. I guess she felt sorry for me like everybody else does.
Day five
I talked with my therapist and cleared some question marks only to find new ones. There is a glass thickening before my own eyes that separates me from the life I know. At this point I am no longer an actor in my life, I am just an audience. Even though letting things flow at their pace is relaxing, having no connection to the world makes me feel incompetent. It is like watching the sunset, so mesmerizing and impossible to look away from.
Day six
This is the last day of my journal. I would like to finish with the number six, my lucky number. It was my school number, my birthday, the day I finished college, the number of candy I carried around all the time and my age when the city was bombed. No longer can I continue my words knowing that no one will read. Take care of yourself until the next time we meet in different bodies.