The rain didn’t stop. The clouds made it imposible to see the sun. The dark and powerfull flood on the streets took down all the power supliers. My phone was dead, all the signals in my radio was lost. I couldn’t tell what time it was or when did it all started but ı was so scared to even look outside. Only thing that i knewe was I started to lose hope. I was unable to get out of my bed and couldn’t help it. I could only wonder when will it be over or even will it.
This is genreally why I decided to write this. I realize how much I have changed. I can’t really remember who I was before this disaster. Maybe this will help my future self. I can’t be sure if I will ever change more from now on but I am certion that I will always ask this to myself.
I feel sick, my sleep scedual is ruined. Because of the sun. I didn’t see it for so long. I neither can sleep nor can wake up. I can’t even say if its day or night, how can I fix this? Its not even the main problem here, I am short on supplies. I really need to at least find some drinkable water. Maybe the fresh air will help my sickness. I will go outside and find some, but for now, I am not really that woried.
While I was lying down on my bed, someone nocked the door. I was stunned. I don’t know what happened after but now I am sitting in front of my desk with my notebook. I don’t know how long its been but now I have the courage to go and look at wahats behind the door. When I looked at that little hole on the door I saw two people. It was not hard to tell that they have been waiting for long and they had a great concern in their moves. I couldn’ see their faces but I still decided to shout at them to go away. Don’t know exactly why but for some reason I felt unpleasent when I saw them. It felt weird, I just didn’t want to talk.
Its been few days. Those strangers put some food and fresh water for me. Its great, from now on I don’t really worie about them. The time feels so slow, life feels empty. I now start to regret that I shouted at them but you can’t time travel unfortunatly. But it could be great like I feel bit alone. I don’t know there is not much thing I can do to entertain myself but you know, it is what it is.
I should have opened the door. Why didn’t I? How could I mıssed that opportunaty? Maybe I could be happy. I can’t stop thinking about this. Only think that I can think except this is the rain. I still scared of it but I am sure there will be a great rainbow when it stops. A great rainbow that will fix what the rain took from me.
I don’t understand why but the consept of this rainbow took my attention for so long. Thinking about it makes my forget the real world. Its hard to live this life. So when the rainbow starts to appear ı can finally go outside, I can again meet someone (unlike the chance that my old self did) I can finally be free when the rainbow comes. But for now I have nothing to do other than think about the rainbow.
I did it again. I DID IT AGAIN. Today someone knocked my door again. But gues what did I do. I scared. I scared that I will shout again. I scared that I will be left alone again. I didn’t want this to happen again. I didn’t want to… so ı sat down and did nothing. Just nothing. They won’t come again. Probably thinking I am dead. For now not but I don’t think my suply will lost long. I don’t even want to eat or write. I am writing to keep my hope on oneday seeing the rainbow.
Am I the problem? Probably. I lost my chances. I can’t even remember anything then my mistakes. I can’t really take this anymore. Time doesn’t move neither that I can. Rainbow thing that I had in my head doens’t even enough to bring me to the life. I surrender. This will be my last note for this notebook. I don’t even know if my feelings were real. I did everything to myself. And after this day my lifess body will be a part of this rain that took everything from me. Goodbye.
There was no rain, no flood, no rainbow. Only hot and shining sun above me. What did I miss? I charged my phone just to see tons of missed calls. Maybe this is the rainbow and I have one last change to reach it. I don’t know for sure but what I know there is no flood to cary my dead body around.