We have always had requirements as a species. They can be the most fundamental, primitive wants, like feeding and finding shelter, or they can be demands that are less crucial for survival but more crucial mentally, like getting love. These demands are ingrained in our human nature and manifest as soon as we are born.
If I asked you to picture a newborn, you would probably see a wailing baby. This is due to the fact that even babies have needs, and more significantly, they become upset when their needs are not met. Being unhappy and angry when you don’t get what you want is completely normal, and if it’s something crucial to your existence, you have every right to be angry. As part of your survival mechanism, you will make every effort to satisfy your needs, but in situations where this isn’t possible, you’ll start looking for alternatives. Even though it’s not scientifically beneficial, drinking your own urine when water is unavailable is arguably the best-known example of it. Because of the stress and your natural survival instincts, when you are faced with difficulties that could endanger your life, you have a tendency to think less clearly and this is totally understandable. There are other circumstances, though, in which even your instincts for survival are useless and creative problem-solving is impossible. Those concerns are typically long-term problems that haven’t been resolved, not one-off issues. Communication problems or even a lack of something you require could be the cause. Even though you are aware that the issue must be resolved, you are unable to do so. As a result, the issue persists. When your survival strategy is ineffective, a different system called a coping mechanism emerges.
There are many coping mechanism sub-principles, but I want to draw attention to “avoidance”. Avoidance is a type of emotion-focused coping strategy that basically involves forcing yourself to forget about issues, emotions, or prior experiences and acting as though they never occurred. Even though it may not be healthful, this strategy resolves the issue to some extent. For instance, if you consider individuals who experienced a lack of affection throughout their childhood, you will find that the majority of them are cold-hearted and do not desire to form meaningful relationships with others. There is no one to blame in this situation. Children who, despite their best efforts, were never shown the love they desired begin to persuade themselves that love is not necessary and that, as a result, it is not a sign of weakness if they are not loved. They can go past facts and reality with the aid of this mode of thinking. It’s always simpler to disregard your problems if you can’t handle them right away, which explains why this is so prevalent. Your brain always made the decision to protect you from mental harm by developing these coping, defensive, and survival systems. All of this points to a single, straightforward notion: what is always missing becomes unneeded thereafter.