Hello my dumb little piles of meat, abusers of knowledge, avatars of ignorance, haters of patience and the bane of my dignity. Its mama nature and I have absolutely zero idea how this will be perceived by your brilliantly designed (by me) brains but I sure hope it will be in a divine and omnipotent way because otherwise there is no way conspiracy theorists won’t blame it on the government or aliens or both. Anyways I am here sending this message, as you are probably watching with your mouths open, is because I might try to send you to extinction. Why you may ask, and I will answer WITH BILLIONS OF REASONS that I won’t get into or your extinction will come right at this moment. But basically y’all showed zero respect towards each other and my other lovely creations. Global warming, Chernobyl, world wars, extinctions that happened WITHOUT MY CONSENT. But luckily I don’t think I will have to extinct you because I wanted to do that to you a lot of times but proved me incorrect and you have been getting better and better at controlling the fruits of your impressive brains. And some of you still want to stay as troglodytes still wanting power and treat searching for it like some twisted form of art. Speaking of which why don’t you do that instead of MASS GENOCIDE TO MY PRECIOUS BABIES AND SLAUGHTERING THEM. I get I designed you to need everything that I produced but I didn’t design you to abuse them! I am talking about my plants by the way they are special they don’t harm anything, except bugs that try to eat them, and release poison … OKAY THEY ARENT PURE BUT YOU ARE SO FAR FROM IT SO YOU CAN’T JUDGE, SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!
Okay let’s stop threatening you and talk more fun stuff, that I can imagine are walking away due to their refusal of IQ, Earth, although my biggest project, isn’t the only one. Yes, aliens exist and there is no way I am letting you get close to them stop sending radio signals I wanted to design some creatures that could communicate through radio waves BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE OF YOU. Ahem, there are lots of them but none are as advanced as you, do not try your luck with that I can easily cook up a species that’s way more advanced than you in a matter of a decade. Ooh! About the golden ratio, the reason so many creatures have them is, and I just can’t wait see mathematician’s and biologist’s faces after this, is because I thought it was cool, yeah. But I am sure you can find a weird reason sometimes even I don’t know how the things I do benefit my babies. Actually; Math and I, yes math is sentient but he despises you, are close friends. I blow his flat, objective, realistic mind with my creatures and he helps me make them more fun by giving me his funky little equations.
I can just hear you thinking how can concepts have a physical form, well I can’t tell you that some are actually my children and that’s because I created you and you caused stuff such as Art and Sports to form but since you guys are too many and too inadequate and dumb to be responsible by beings that enforce the rules of concepts, they are mine. Also I am going to need you to disrespect Entropy as much as possible and let your physicist explain him I can’t bother. But in a nutshell, I hate him to my bones and he was the sole reason I created life in the first place. Your existence defies you and math constantly yaps about how he’ll destroy everything I have soon but I don’t believe him. What can I say I am one stubborn god. So do your best to disrespect him. Also don’t worship me it’s weird I don’t want to be talked about by billions everyday although I deserve it