Mona Rıza

I was sold for 50 TL at the last auction and the person who bought me was a unique man, his hair was pink and his eyebrows were green. When he took me to his house, his house was full of 8 dogs, and they were all very aggressive, but they weren’t doing anything to him but attacking the mailman and neighbors. Their names were so strange that I could even learn them in 2 years: Taumata, Zemheri, Teaturipukakapi, Kimaungahoro, Pneumon, Osas, Ugwemuh, Yevwe. I still had trouble pronouncing the names of some of them, but I could still pronounce most of them correctly. The man’s neighbors were as different as he was, one of them was 137 years old and the woman was officially #1 in the running competition! And a neighbor always drew stick figures and hung them on his wall saying “This is a work of art!” and even gave one to the owner of the house. But one day, at 3 AM some robbers broke in his house, the owner of the house were at Africa for a trip and the robbers stole almost everything in the house, like the fridge, a portal to Ohio (the one who tried to steal it teleported to Ohio), Adolf Hitler’s mustache from 1944…When the owner of the house came from the trip, he was at panic because the robbers stole the Ohio portal and he was no longer be able to talk to his aunt at Ohio. But I didn’t feel bad for him because I didn’t care about it. Something I hate the most is when someone visit his house (he locks the dogs to another room) they say “Wow! Mona Lisa, how did you buy it?” and the man says “I’m rich” like that does not makes sense! The real Mona Lisa has no beard but I have! By the way I’m here for almost 4 years and I don’t even know the owner’s name…I know that’s a bit embarrassing but when his friends come over, they always call him Pink haired orangutan, dog lover, dog trainer, etc. But I like to call him Abad, yes, its weird because I searched “weird names” on google and found it. It’s a bit boring to be a painting but sometimes I make some scary sounds at 2 AM, Abad gets so scared and runs to the kitchen, grabs the knife, and doesn’t sleep all night holding the knife, it’s so fun to watch him get panic attacks and drink gallons of coffee to stay awake. Today, I scared him so much that I think he will sell me to his neighbors and move to Ohio.