Life Of A 1800’s Artist

Disclaimer: These words did NOT come out of Van Gogh himself. This is what I imagined was the thought scheme in his mind.
-I wake up every day and just paint, eat then sleep. I give my all in every single one of my paintings. How much have I sold of those paintings I gave my all to? Only a single one. My only friends are Paul who is another artist and Theo who is my brother. They still support me but I just can’t get any of my paintings sold. I really give them my all, even my ear. I’ve been to Belgium, Netherlands, Great Britain and now I am in France but still out of about 900 of my paintings only a single one is sold. I am 37 years old now and my mind isn’t stable anymore. I don’t understand what I am doing wrong. The color scheme? The art style? Maybe if I just copy my Red Vineyard it will get recognized again? No. I have to be creative as I always have been. If I just keep making paintings they should start to be noticed right? Right? I see a very beautiful wheatfield with a bunch of crows on top of it. Maybe I can create a masterpiece out of this.