Waking up as a mass in the morning and getting out of the house aggressively, almost throwing myself out. Don’t know what I’m angry about maybe it’s the dark road my life is headed to or regrets of my past that I carry along, only thing that I am certain about is that ı would change it all if I had the chance. That’s my reason to run every there, go on a different track. I want to get away from my present. I believed if I ran enough; I could go to my future where everything I ones suffered from was over one way or other, even better go to the past re-wright it all.
it was an ordinary that hopelessly relying on my imagination to be wiped off by the rain. After the third circle I have made around my house ı realized I was too scared to get away which was weird because this was a way of mine to get away. As I ran, I also started to freak out. What was this unique feeling that was keeping me inside. I never had a safe zone before, and I didn’t attend to have one any time soon. this was different, I heard voices inside my head that constantly reminded me that I was alone. As my thoughts swam across my mind a hard pressure ran through my chest squeezing my heart between. It got hard to breath time felt like slowing down minute by minute until it ”stopped”. My eyes opened slowly and faced the endless rain drops hanging on the air.
I felt so excited that the apple of my eye grew. One of the many drops glew like it was reflecting a light and creating a rainbow but there wasn’t any source of light that could have been causing this. This is great I thought I didn’t even wanted to live this life but I was stuck in my horrible present. I sat there for a while until I couldn’t take it any more I was about to lose my mind then taht little drop of rain that glowed exploded releasing the light it capt inside. I saw my life past through. I saw everything I have done wrong. When it finally stopped I was already on my knees crying in pain. Than I felt a hand over my shoulder. It invited me to get up. My body felt lighter that it was before. I looked around and saw my high-school right in front of me. My surprised face probably alarmed the guy who held my hand because he felt the need to explain where I was. I was looking at my past self when my life turned to be worse. I looked to him with fear in my eyes. But once mine met his eyes every single worry faded. I felt like I could make my past my future and change everything.