Despite the hardships we’ve been through all year, December 31st has finally arrived. We were in the last minutes of the year but I was stuck in the traffic.I was driving my car with the hope that I would enter the new year at home, when I looked at the clock, I realized that there were seconds left to the new year. While I was sadly moving forward, the white light hitting my face from the right was coming towards me at full speed. The light got more and more blinding as it got closer to me, but there was nothing I could do. Before I could understand what was going on, the feeling of emptiness had already begun to envelop my body. I assumed it was a truck that hit me. After the feeling of emptiness, you assume that death will embrace you, right? I thought so too, but it was clear that the universe had different plans for me.
I was slowly returning to reality. What I felt on my skin could be nothing but soft satin. When I slowly opened my eyes, a familiar sight was in front of me. I was just looking at the hotel room I had packed up and left this morning. I was questioning why I was here instead of a hospital. but there was no pain anywhere in my body. it was as if nothing had happened. I slowly straightened up. Just then, a voice came from the bathroom, the voice of my fiancee, whom I had left on the morning of December 31st. I was shocked. breaking up with him was one of the things on my list of things to do before the new year. I decided that morning to do whatever I was afraid of doing for the past month without thinking too much about it. In fact, there wasn’t much on the list that was more important than that, but it was his behavior towards me that triggered everything. After he got out of the bathroom, I couldn’t help myself and exploded, and at that moment, breaking up with him seemed like the most logical option. With all these thoughts running through my mind, I was still questioning why I was here. And then he came out of the bathroom again and I realized that I was listening to the exact same thing, word for word, over and over. At first I thought I was just having déjà vu, but everything was the same, down to his movements. And again I couldn’t help myself. I was shouting as if I was blinded, and he was yelling at me in return. We broke up again and I rushed out of the room in a rage. I was looking for my car keys in my bag, but when I couldn’t find it, I remembered that we came here with his car, just like on December 31st. I took a taxi and gave the address of the house, but before I could reach my house, death embraced me again. Now that the familiar feeling of emptiness was coming back, I found myself in that hotel room again and I could understand that the same things would happen again.
I think the universe was playing with me. Although I still can’t make sense of it, I was obviously stuck in a time loop. I was constantly living the same day. I thought maybe this was the universe’s way of turning me back from mistakes that I would regret later, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to put up with that rude man for a lifetime. When I first experienced this breakup, even hours had passed, I felt nothing of regret. At the beginning of the same morning, I used all my will not to leave him. and I did it, a few hours had passed and I still hadn’t gotten back to the beginning. I’ve been very careful all day. This time everything was different. I think everything was back to normal. At this rate, I would have to enter the new year with him. I think I could put up with that a little more.
We were seconds away from entering the new year. At that moment, the feeling of happiness was replaced by the feeling of emptiness, again and again…