Christmas

“It’s cold.” he breathed out while trying to hug his shivering figure a little more, so that he wouldn’t feel the freezing cold wind sizzling into his blood through his skin. His nose was a vibrant shade of pink and his eyes were almost screw shut, trying to block the wind from getting in his eyes. A funny warm feeling rose up in my lungs from seeing him like this. It almost felt like the butterflies found their way back into my stomach, claiming it their new home. 

I took my eyes off of him. I didn’t give a reply to his statement, he wasn’t waiting for one anyway. Little shuffles from his side didn’t stop. His endless efforts of trying to make himself feel a little warmer wasn’t working. “Why are you here?” he asked and he sniffed. I kept my eye on the same spot I was looking for the past hour. I could feel his eyes on me and my calm expression. He was almost surprised at how unfazed I looked, how the cold didn’t affect me. I wasn’t thinking about an answer but opened my mouth just to close it anyway. 

I was out because I couldn’t shut the thoughts up in my head. I had to get out of the bed after tossing and turning nonstop in bed. I didn’t want to wake him up but the lack of heat must’ve been the thing that actually annoyed him. I knew why I was here but he couldn’t. I couldn’t put the pressure of my own guilt on him when he was the innocent one out of the two of us. My eyes did another up and down on the big Christmas tree on the street that was visible from our balcony. The yellow lights, red and green ornaments and the big shiny star looked mesmerizingly magnificent. 

I heard a sad small sigh before he joined me to watch the tree and the busy street that was filled with people celebrating the holiday. I got reminded by how we both loved this time of the year. It was crazy how my thought could change this drastically and dramatically. It felt unreal to stand on my feet, being in my own body at that moment. 

“I couldn’t get you a gift.” I finally opened my mouth after what felt like an eternity. I couldn’t get him the gift I planned on buying. Not because of the little money I had but because of how I forgot. “So you did remember?” he chuckled. I felt stupid by his slap to the face of an answer. How could I forget his miraculous talent of knowing me better than I knew my own self. For the first time, I thought ‘I wish I could do magic.’ to myself.  “I’m sorry.” I whispered, feeling the embarrassment coloring my face a dark shade of red. He laughed a little more before pulling into a tight hug. 

I was happy that he was amused instead of disappointed, which I formerly thought he would feel. I was so careless and forgot about his favorite holiday after dreaming about making him the happiest man alive with a gift that he would love. To my surprise, it was alright. Gifts and holidays didn’t even matter if we were together, on each other’s side. 

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