I would rather study medicine and become a doctor instead of an engineer. “Why do you want to be a doctor?”. Most people’s answer to this question is that they want to help people. It’s not the same case for me. Of course, I want to help people and I am very ambitious about it but there are so many other fields that I could help people as well.
So why medicine? It takes a lot to get into a medical school and even more to finish it then you get paid like 13 dollars an hour for almost 10 years before you start to get a proper salary. So why take all the trouble, when you could just be an engineer and have a stable income after a couple of years after graduating? Because I don’t think I will be able to be a doctor. I don’t think that I can study for 8 hours without a break every day of the week if not four days a week. I don’t think I can sit through 4-5 hours of exams on a weekly basis. I don’t think I can sit and memorise every single muscle in human anatomy. I don’t think I can learn every single medication and what they are used for. I don’t think I can give up on sleeping in when I want to. I highly doubt that I will ever be okay with the fact that there are and will be people who are better than me.
If I made a “pros&cons” list it would be clear that I shouldn’t get into medical school for my mental health, financial situation, family and other reasons. But all these reasons only make me want to do it even more because I simply see them as challenges that ı need to overcome. For all my life I have been sufficient but never excellent. And I have always seemed like just a pretty face or the girl who is someone popular’s friend or someone’s ex. But those things don’t define me. The mark I get on the biology exam doesn’t define me. What that girl thinks of me doesn’t define me. Whether that boy likes me or not doesn’t define me. I don’t want definitions to limit me.
Studying medicine doesn’t seem like a safe option. Being a surgeon definitely is not a safe career option. What I mean by safe is that you never know what the day brings to you. And that thrill excites me. Being told that I can’t do it excites me so that’s why I want to do it. Not to prove to people but to prove to myself that I can do it. When I get that paper saying I graduated med-school I will know for sure that I am not just sufficient but excellent.