When I walk into the beautiful room, the mixed smell of the freshly mopped floor and leather pointe shoes greets me. I see my reflection on the mirror which is all over the walls. I am wearing a pinkish-white nylon leotard, a fluffy tutu, and tights. I have intentionally worn a tutu since this is a pas de deux class. The perfectness of my sleek bun gives me satisfaction. I feel the excitement flowing through my veins. It is fifteen minutes till the class and I am the only one in the studio, except the pianist who is trying to arrange his notes. The atmosphere of the class is so calming; the light beams coming through the window, the pleasant smell, the warmness of the studio…
I start to get ready for the class by warming up my body and revising the choreographies. I move my legs and arms, and I stretch towards my toes. Then, I sat down on the floor to put on my pointe shoes. First, I take off my warm-up boots and put them near the barre. I slide my leather pointe shoes on and start to tie up my ribbons in the neatest way possible. I get up and start to practice. I get on my toes and feel the strength coming from my feet. I tiptoe around the studio just to warm up. As I start to feel ready, I see the other ballerinas and ballets coming into the studio. I find my partner to get ready to start dancing.
When I start dancing, I feel an extreme emotion throughout my body. It is like having a warm, tingly feeling in the pit of your stomach or getting pinched all around your body. My partner turns me around, we go the other side of the studio as dancing. It is indescribable, almost ineffable. It’s like no matter how many quotes you read, how many lyrics you hear, or how much you write your heart out you sometimes just can’t describe how you feel. We do pirouettes, grand jote developes and other positions. I am in a state of euphoria. It’s a feeling of bliss mixed with passion. When we start to reach the finale, we both do the best parts. I feel something like exhilaration. No matter how I dance, I always get this sensation. It is a weird thing but I consider it as ecstasy.
I use dance as an outlet because when I’m dancing, everything else goes away and all I can feel is the happiness and freedom it gives me.
When the class dismisses, I first thank the choreographer and the pianist, then take off my pointe shoes. I say to myself this studio is my happy place as I leave the room.