Today I woke up on my grandpa’s farm like every day. It has been a regular activity milking the cows, planting seeds, and using rotational farming tactics, as usual. But I told to myself; remember this day, January 20th, the day that farm life changed the world or to say so, “had a radical understanding of what life means”. At 7 AM I woke up, oh sorry, I already told it. The story of the rest is more complex, or rather, I remember it to be. Everybody calls me crazy for referring to a chicken a giant Tyrannosaurus rex. As soon as I walked out of the barn I saw a giant chicken that was not “chickening” It was a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex acting the same as my dearest love, Edward the Chicken. In fact, it even talked to me about the economic and political state of the world right now. I was shocked and with the stress and the sweat running down my shirt, I had only one option, which was to run.
After some time, I tried to remember what happened and suddenly everything became gray. I felt a little nauseous or as if I was stuck in between parallel gates of different space dimensions. Oh, wait! That’s actually what it is. I switched galaxies I believe. Some voices in my head responded to me saying “Stop it with all your ideas referencing Rick and Morty, this place is in Kırıkkale, not Europe, which was an even a more interesting topic” My head quickly switched to the idea that Kırıkkale was under the attack of some aliens. No way! That’s it, the thing I saw was not a Tyrannosaurus rex, it was an alien. That calmed me down and made me go back to the barn where I saw it. It wasn’t there shockingly. A more shocking thing was that we ate Edward, the chicken I saw that was embodying an alien, at our dinner. I know it’s sad but it’s meat like everybody calls it, we don’t say I ate the ham of a bull today, we just say it’s meat. So it is not Edward, right? It’s only meat. Just as I was trying to soothe myself I started crying thinking Edward was no longer there. I screamed “Who killed Edward?” at the top of my lungs. The butcher of the farm-raised his hand, I was astounded that someone would confess this quickly. Edward was my favorite chicken but they were blaming him for not hatching enough. A life quote to be learned from my 16 years of age life is that chickens also have a heart, and whoever breaks that heart will have their heart broken.
Is there a way to make Edward’s comeback harder than the 1969 Beatles album? Yes, there is. I put the pieces together and realized I was just going nuts and that it was all a dream. There is no way that it happened and if you think that I think Edward turned into an alien you are so not right. I didn’t believe that Edward was an alien and yet, it was a dream I couldn’t forget and do you know what they call the dreams that cannot be forgotten? A message. Edward is the reincarnated format of the Tyrannosaurus rex that lived in 10000000 B.C. And he will be reincarnated soon. I must be quick to see who he picks on and by using Google or Yandex (I prefer Google) find out how to get Edward out of his new possession and return him to his chicken-being life. In “all_the_facts_about_chickens.com” it says that chickens cannot be reincarnated and whoever says that they can be reincarnated is going all nuts, need a fresh breath of air, have to lie down sometime, relax, and drink Matcha tea. I told to myself, that is a big to-do list. I cannot do these things as it is the farm life that I’m living here, Matcha tea comes in cargo in between 3 to 5 work days and Trendyol says it cannot read my location coordinates from the satellite.
However, “people_who_do_not_believe_you_are_wrong.com” says quite the opposite and that I should make a mixture for Edward’s new possession, I’m quite afraid because the website says that the mixture should include “kuskonmaz and kokorec” at the same time. Oh, poor individual, do not be afraid I’m here to save you, miserable individual! To find the right person I searched for Edward’s gestures and personality, sadly no one ran away screaming “cluck cluck”. It will be harder than I thought, I said to myself. Then just as I turned the corner here there was the Tyrannosaurus rex profile standing right in front of me with its eyes wide open, telling me “Congratulations, you found me, you are a real friend and person, I will never forget this.” Then the mist vanished slowly and the person who I was looking for turned out to be my Aunt! I had to find a way to make her drink the “kuskonmaz and kokorec” mixture, the mixture’s ingredients were making everything just more difficult… So I told her that it was the Seda Sayan youth elixir and by not even letting me finish my sentence she gulped the mixture down her throat, the rest is history.