The date was 16th November 1990. But I will talk about that date later. First of all you need to understand the dinamics of our family. Trust me, it is really important for the storyline.
I have an older brother. We had a normal sibling relationship. We fought all the time but we cared about each other so much. There is not much to say about my father. He used to work, spend time with his friends till the night time and come to home. I remember that I was always asleep when he arrives. So we can tell that he wasn’t there for us enough. Finally, my mother. She was a gorgeous woman. She was so beautiful and kind. Everybody loved her, even the ones who don’t know her well. She was the person who everyone asks for help or shares their secrets with. In a word, she was the perfect human being.
I am hearing the “Then what?” questions already. Be patient, we are getting there. When I was 10 my mother got uterine cancer. First she hid her illness from all of us. But then my dad relaised her situation. I have to mention that he was in love with her so much. He was a handsome man back then. But the only woman he was intrested in was my mom. So he made sure that she was getting the best treatments. He took her to the best hospital of the country every weekend. That means nearly a 7 hour car travel. But they kept it secret from us till it got serious.
First they told it to my brother. Then they talked with me. I did not pay attention at all. Because I knew that my mom will be okay. She was a survivor. She wouldn’t leave me. But months passed and my mom became worse day by day. I remember that I looked into mirror and said to myself “This is not a soap opera, your mom will defeat the cancer. She is stronger than anything.”. A week later, she passed away. On 16th November 1990, on Thursday. I was only 11. And I went back to school on Monday. Literally 3 days later. Why?
After my mother died everyting changed in my life. My dad started to not care about us more and more. Our grandma raised us mostly because my dad was always out. He never came home. He had a different girlfriend every week. He even got engaged with one of them and left her at the wedding day. As you can tell, the death of my mom really affected him.
A year later my best friend’s mother had cancer. I always told her that she will be okay. But deep down I knew the ending. Her mother passed away 3 months later. We became closer than ever. The only good effect about this was I got a sister who would protect me from everything.
Years passed, I became a mother myself. A mother of a daughter. I love her more than anything. And in these years I’ve relasied that my mother’s death was not affecting me anymore. Because I grew up. I learnt how to be myself by my own. Not with anybody’s help. What is always missing becomes unneaded thereafter. She was missing in my life for 30 years now. So you can tell that I don’t need her anymore.