It was a cold and windy Christmas Night. The bitterness of the breeze was piercing through my skin along with sorrows that my dearest sweetheart has left me with. It was my third Christmas Night without my beloved one.
It has been three and a half years since she passed away and from that day on forward she often appeared in my dreams. She was always smiling, laughing with enthusiasm in her white and yellow sundress but not long after, the car which brutally took her vulnerable life appears in front of my eyes and I wake up from that ephialtes. My mind detests every second of it. However, my heart insists on not letting it go. Holding on to it like it’s a fragile memento but in reality, it’s nothing more than a mere masqueraded lure that has been haunting me for the last three years.
We were the inseperable couple that has bounded to each other with love. The tender tension between us was always so strong and dense that anyone who saw us would assume that we were a couple. It became an everyday event to see the magnefised eyes staring at us like they were trying to pierce a hole in us as we passed by. Admiring sentences assorted with rather jealousy and envy.
Maybe it was the sinister discourse. Maybe the envious eyes we recieved. I do not know the correct answer to that but there is only one thing that I know and that is the change in her. Her eyes started to lose its sparkle. The look in her eyes was serene previously but now it was like an eerie chasm that no light could escape. She was not distant nor cold. She was filled with joy and laughter like her established self.
I recall her face that day. She was smiling brighter than usual, livelier than usual. The delighted hue in her eyes were back. I was more than relieved to see my dear sweetheart like this.
That day, my beloved one gave her last breaths in my arms.
I do not blame the car as it was not the one who killed her. It was nothing but a helper to her.
I do not blame her as she was the one who brought joy to my last fourteen years.
I do not blame myself as I wasn’t able to do anything in that situation. She was smiling brighter than ever that day. Therefore I’m just at peace that she was happy.
They say something that is missing for a long period of time becomes unneeded afterwards. I hope that does not happen to my sweetheart as I don’t want to forget her smiling face.