Do you know the feeling of losing love? Do you know the hurt of having the right person at the wrong time? Do you know how desperate love makes a person? To tell you the truth, it isn’t something you can know without living it, so I doubt anyone who tries to guess can be correct about it. But to help you feel those emotions, I can tell you my story.
It was a morning like any other. Before my lecture started, I was going to go get coffee. However, the thing that made this particular morning stand out was the boy in the grey sweatshirt. He had glasses on, and carried a laptop bag rather than a bookbag, so I could guess that he was a computer science major. He had hair not brushed his hair since he had woken up, which was very obvious from how messy it was. However, regardless of the messiness of his hair, it still looked like each strand was carefully woven of silk, for it was just as smooth and shiny from afar. The boy in the grey sweatshirt ordered a large black coffee, with an extra shot of espresso, he was for sure a comp sci major. The reason he caught my interest was because of the two years I had been studying at Berkeley, I had never seen his face at the coffee shop I visited each morning.
A few semesters later, we were celebrating our one year anniversary
. I had never been happier in my life. I had realized that I learned happiness with him, that I had never truly been happy before I had met him. That bittersweet feeling was what made him so precious to me. The feeling of knowing your source of happiness but also the fear of losing them at any given point in your life, and thus, possibly losing you happiness.
Sadly for my case, that fear was not for nothing. He had gotten his dream job at Washington, and I had gotten mine at Los Angeles. He was going to work for Google, and I was going to write for the LA weekly. Not only were the jobs in different states, the states were also on opposing edges of the country. The boy in the grey sweatshirt was going to move away, and the worst thing was I knew that as the best for him, and that was why I chose to encourage his desicion, and let him go.
It had been four months since he had moved away. Four months of us not going to the coffee shop every morning for the same orders we had been getting for the past two years. I was convinced that there was nothing I could do, and that it was the end of my love story. Oh how wrong I wished to be. And weirdly for my unlucky self, my wishes were heard. He called. He called to say he missed me. The boy in the grey sweatshirt called me to say that he missed me. We talked on the phone for hours, until the sun came up and I had to get ready for work. But one thing led to another, and before I knew it I was at the airport. A few hours later, I was getting coffee, with the boy I fell in love with, who was wearing a grey sweatshirt.
Love makes us make dumb desicions sometimes. But I can promise you, that one was the smartest choice I had ever made in my life. Love hurts as much as it excites you. Love is cruel, love makes you do selfish things, things without thinking them through, things without thinking of the consequences. But honestly, thats the best thing about love. It makes us humans pure. It makes us act on our very own thoughts and wishes, and absolutely nothing else. However, theres nothing I regret about my desicions regarding the boy in the grey sweatshirt. Love is beautiful after all.